Nata1980

I would tell myself 3 years ago not to fall for him "being his old self" and proceed with divorce as planned.

I would tell myself not waste time and money supporting him and his expensive habits (Starbucks every day, box of cigars every month, several gym memberships) because he is "sick alcoholic" and tell him to suck it up and contribute right away.

I would also tell myself that, while he always threatened me that the only reason that I was able to work was that he was "stay at home dad" (read: philandering unemployed slob of an alcoholic and drug addict), I would be still gainfully employed, get a raise and bonus while experiencing decline in anxiety, and all without his "services".

And lastly - I would trust my gut, when I thought he was cheating - he was, pills, booze - I detected it all, no need for tests....he made me crazy and doubt myself

Should have cut the cord sooner.