Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
the longer we draw out the separation/divorce, the more sticky and complicated the custody arrangements often become. meanwhile i would document his patterns, antics, and actions and scurry off to at least an intake assessment with a divorce attorney. you don't HAVE to pull that trigger, but if you do there will be a bullet in the chamber, so to speak............
I've contacted and met with an attorney a few weeks after we separated (3 months ago) and I've put moving forward on hold because I was trying to be sympathetic to his recovery and allow him to seek out professional help before I dropped any bombs on him. As far as seeing the kids right now, he barely shows up. I was told by my attorney to not allow him to have the kids alone until he could submit to a clean hair test (which to date he hasn't even gone to submit to the test). I'm afraid that once a judge gets involved he will allow him joint custody and I'm scared for the kids to be alone with him. Right now I'm calling the shots with the kids and I know they are safe because they are always with me. So that's why I've been putting the divorce off. Although everyday I want to move forward with it because being in limbo is starting to become too much. I just want to do what's best for my kids.