I have been in relationships. One big relationship lasted five years and I tried to quit drinking on my own but could not. I remember that relationship being peaceful. Well, except for my drinking. But she was a very good person and I treated her poorly.
This most recent relationship has been hell. I tried to escape so many times and eventually gave up because I felt trapped.
The other night while walking/exercising a woman made me take off my headphones, touched me, and asked me some stupid question about where a building was in town. I pointed right next to us and said "it is right there" and put my headphones back on. She gave me a look like she wanted me to do something or say something. Also, a woman waved at me while I was walking with my headphones on. And some other woman stopped me who is from school but I don't know her.
So I want to avoid women....oh and some older lady keeps asking me out to lunch but I politely declined and now I have to just be professional and polite with her.
I do just want to be alone and I think I will be better once I get my exercise/nutrition/self-care routine back to where it was before I met my ex. Dating my ex was so bad, and I knew from the beginning it was a horrible idea, because I had quit smoking for seven months and she smoked. It tasted awful. I didn't want to date a woman who smoked even when I smoked.
Day 3 of no smoking!!