Originally Posted by ScottFromWI

Not every alcoholic gets "mean". And it can progress slowly or quickly. None of us can give you the answer you want though....which is whether he is an alcoholic or not. It doesn't matter how many times you ask the question or how you re-frame it, only he can make that determination.

You are much better off getting help for yourself not only with your own alcoholism but perhaps even something like AL-Anon. Just as it's very difficult to accept our own addiction, it's equally hard to accept that we cannot change others.