Originally Posted by melki

Everything you describe certainly indicates that he has a problem. I don't think finding what defines an alcoholic helps or matters.

My husband and I both drank alcoholically, I quit first. He didn't admit to a problem till half a year or so later. I am so utterly grateful he decided to follow suit and join me in complete abstinence eventually. You are responsible for your sobriety first and that's the only thing you can control. I kept sharing things I learned from SR, a lot about AV, reading some similar stories. From my own experience, I knew that pushing doesn't work. Some things my husband cared about was lack of energy and not being able to stay in shape. He didn't put two and two together though, how much drinking was holding him back in that regard. Maybe you can help by finding what your husband cares about (shape, appearance, health, children?) and talk about how drinking impacts it, in severely negative way. Eventually though, it is up to him. You can only share what you know and pray that something clicks and some connection is made in his brain. In some cases in works, in some it doesn't. Best of luck and congratulations on your own freedom!