You don't have to be a mean drunk to be an alcoholic. In fact, many alcoholics are very good at maintaining a pleasant demeanour and give no outward signs of intoxication. You mentioned that he suffers depression and and anxiety. When I was a daily drinker, I was miserable all the time too. Alcohol can really negatively affect one's mental health. It changes the brain.
Your husband sounds like he is in denial. Alcoholism is progressive so expect things to get worse