Defining an Alcoholic
Hi All,
I am over 2 months sober and really enjoying every day of it. I am married to a man who drinks every single night, and has done so for all of his adult life. I think he has a problem; he doesn't. The longest he's gone without alcohol (since I've know him) is one week, and it was a miserable week for him.
He almost never gets visibly intoxicated because his tolerance is so high. He drinks whiskey every night, oftentimes starting off with a beer or two. I then see him look at his watch, and pour a whiskey. He "times" his intake to prove that he has control. Ironically, if you have to check the timing of your intake, that already means the drink is controlling you, but he doesn't see it that way.
He has never been an angry drunk that I've seen. In fact, he's so normally quiet and introverted that alcohol makes him more talkative and prone to laughter. Everywhere I read states that alcohol abuse gradually morphs people into someone ugly, someone abusive over time...well, what if that isn't the case? Can't someone's disease progress without them turning into a belligerent? The fact that he isn't a mean drunk only punctuates for him (in his mind) that he doesn't have a problem.
I know that there are guidelines for healthy daily drinking - certain amounts that are ok, etc. I think that's all bunk. Alcohol is a drug; a toxin. No amount of a toxin is good. I see now that it's something all of us could do without and be better off for it, but alcohol is such a money maker, so heavily endorsed as something fun and acceptable, that the general population overlooks the simple fact that it is a mind-altering and potentially addictive poison, and drinking "acceptable" amounts doesn't make it less of a poison. Poison is poison.
I know I cannot change his behavior, or even necessarily define his dependency, but I just wanted to know if anyone else is in a similar situation and would you define your significant other as an alcoholic?
Bottom line: if a person drinks 7 days a week and can't (or "won't") stop, but they aren't mean, what would you define that person as?