Espanding.....I learned, somewhere.....can't remember where...that the essential difference between the feeling of depression or grief is this:
Grief---intensely painful feelings.....(emphasis on feeling)..
Depression---painful absence of feeling... (emphasis on absence)....
I think you may be on to something to wonder if you aren't depressed to some degree....
One can be depressed while grieving, also......
Why are you so against anti-depressants?
they can be very helpful for some people when prescribed by an experienced professional (a psychiatrist--since they are medical doctors).....
dandylion