I'm glad you're with us and that you reached out. You're not alone.
I often would say to my therapist that I didn't know how to live. I think all of us in recovery have that fear, it's the "hole-in-the-donut" fear. I'm happy to report it does not happen, and that is just another fear that isn't real (False Evidence Appearing Real). I have finally learned how to take it minute by minute, day by day, with the help of a sane AA big book sponsor.
I'm sorry you dated someone sick in AA and that no one suggested to you not to date until you're well. I hope you won't stop going to AA because of your experience. I was told early on to stick to the people who are recovered and well. And if I'm in a sick meeting, I find another. And if there's a sick person in a meeting that I like, just to stay away from them (I had a bad experience with someone while I was going through my step work. I learned my lesson and now I just avoid her.)
Hang in there. This is where the growth starts and you get to experience what life is all about. Just take it moment by moment and keep things simple. Three meals a day. A walk in the park. Some uplifting music. A light novel. Bird watching. Volunteering. Or a few minutes of doing nothing else but taking deep breaths and trying to connect to that healthy place within you.
Like someone else posted here, the windshield on a car is much bigger than the rear view mirror for a reason. Joel Osteen had a sermon about that once and it's a great visual reminder for me when my mind gets stuck in the past.