Hey leezer
I'm sorry for your loss. I knew my post was brutally honest.....and demented, or I think I said distorted. But I was thinking it, and that's not the first time. I wish I could cut my family off, but I don't have the balls. So it's the dreaded annual visit. It's very complex. Bad things happened to me in the house I will be staying in, the house I grew up in. Flashbacks and nightmares are intense when I'm there. It's just rough. I'll survive.
Frankly I don't think it will be harder for me when they are gone. But I really don't wish them harm in my heart of hearts. But it's all very painful.