Welcome to SR.
Come join us whenever you can. Sounds like you are looking for a support group. Al-Anon can help as well. My home Al-Anon group and sponsor knows more about the pain of my living with the family disease of alcoholism than my own birth family ever will. They have held me up when I couldn't go on another day. Why not give it a try.
Do take a read around and you may find some of help you need to get though this.
You are not alone in this unless you choose to be.
Love and prayers from one who cares.