Hoping for 6 months or less
About 2 years ago I noticed I became easily startled by noises or people walking by or past me out of nowhere. This was mind boggling to me because I was never easily startled like that.
Now everywhere I went was like always on the alert, hypervigilant and anxious. It was hard to look people in the eyes.
So i went to a doctor and explained my symptoms. He asked me about my history of susbstance abuse and so in a nutshell I told him that between 2006 to 2011 i had drank and did alot of drugs. Between 2012 and 14 I was binge drinking heavily on weekends and smoking weed all day everyday.
The doctor believed my symptoms were substance induced.
I didnt beleive him or maybe didnt want to.
Awhile after that visit with the doctor I decided to go sober. Within 2 weeks i felt great the symptoms had and vanished and I felt like I could breathe again. Sadly i was only sober for a month before I relapsed and the symptoms slowly returned.
I said the hell with it and continued to drink smoke weed and the occasional meth. Until a few months had gone by and the symptoms got worse. Hungover from monday to wensday. Feel ok sometimes on thursday then back to drinking on friday.
I went sober for three weeks or so but with no relief this time still anxious, irritabe, easily starled by any stupid little thing. If some one would have told me I would become like that in a couple years I would never have believed them in a million years.
This time I felt completely hopeless. I thought I would return too normal in a couple of weeks or a month but no such luck.This was in 2014 since then I have gone sober once for 2 months and just recently for almost 3 months.
I am begining to realize that Im going to need at least 6 months. But more importantly I will probabaly have to be sober for eternity.
If any one has had similar experieces with being easily startled and jumpy please share your experiences. For the past two years I have done alot of research and havent learned much from a medical or scientific standpoint as to what this jumpiness is.
All i know is I dont wish this upon anyone.
Whats even more frustrating is i dont seem to notice it in anyone else. Alhough i have met one person in a group with the same symptoms and he was a heavy drinker as well.