Originally Posted by
FutureTrip 
I was wondering if anyone has a similar experience with their alcoholic as my AH, as in that admits he is an alcoholic, he truly means it when he says he won't drink again (until he picks up his next drink), he hides the drinks he does have because I think he really thinks "that was one slip up, no more" but he keeps doing it. He WANTS this to end, but he it is too hard for him to fight. I read so many stories wives leaving when their AH won't admit there is a problem or flat out say they won't or don't want to stop. Because I see the pain of the struggle he's going through, it does make it so much harder for me to turn my back. It feels cold sometimes evenot though I know it's what I have to do.
Hi FT. I am in this situation. About 3.5 years ago, my STBXAH finally admitted he had a drinking problem. We've seen a few different counselors together, and he's gone to AA off and on. Well, about a year ago, he admitted to me that when he initially told me he had a problem, he wasn't really committed to quitting. However, this time he was. And actually, he immersed himself and was posting here on SR, reading books, going to AA. After about 1.5 months, he relapsed. Once that happened, I noticed he stopped posting on SR, stopped reading his books and although he attended AA, he never got a sponsor or worked the steps. He would go about a month or month and half with no drinking, then drink again. He finally got a DUI at the end of January and that's when I had to follow through and divorce him.
Once he knew I was serious about the divorce, the blame and denial started. If I hadn't been trying to control his drinking all these years, he probably wouldn't even have a problem (according to him.) We've been living apart for about 2 months now and he's freely told me that he's drinking.
Maybe he never really believed he had a problem? Maybe he was just doing whatever he could to keep our marriage together, even if that meant saying he was an alcoholic. Either way, it doesn't matter what he SAYS. My therapist made me understand that I need to be a behaviorist. So what if your husband tells you he's an alcoholic? All that matters is his actions.
I commend you for taking this huge, scary step. Believe me, it gets better. I am just now starting to feel happiness for the first time in 13 years (the length of my relationship with STBXAH.) Keep posting and know you are doing the best thing you could do for you and your child.