Hi tryptic
So glad you posted here... WOW. I am not gonna tell you to give up on her, but I don't think it is healthy to continue to bail her out, and "support" her as she continues on with her addictions. I am brought to tears to hear of the trauma she has been through and my heart goes out to her. It sounds like the alcohol and drugs are not JUST an addiction, but a huge coping mechanism, and of course to "numb the pain".
My first thought is that you should find an Alanon meeting for YOU. It is great that she wants to go to AA, and that you go with her - you two will learn so much. But it is also VITAL that you take care of yourself as well. It is soooooo easy to lose yourself in the fight to get HER help, and take care of her... but you simply cannot expect to be the one that "saves" her and brings her out of this disease - the ONLY person that can do that is HER. She needs to reach way down deep and find the courage and will to get help ON HER OWN. There is no rule that says you need to leave, and give up of course - she sounds like she really needs the love and companionship. What you might find happens, if you continue to "enable" her, and "bail her out" of trouble, is that she begins to find a way to continue to use the alcohol and drugs... why not? you will still always be there, and she is not suffering ANY consequences!
My most heartfelt thoughts are with you BOTH - I hope you can see clearly through this. Keep coming back here, and let us know what is going on.
Take care,
Meg