There are good people with bad problems...there are bad people with bad problems...and the worst are bad people with bad problems who have adapted by making themselves seem like good people.
Your ex might be one of those. What all of those people have in common is a bad problem that makes them extraordinarily focused on what they need and everything else is either a help or a hindrance.
Nothing you did or didn't do, are or aren't, said or didn't say made him what he is.
Now you know. I'm so very sorry you have gone through this. He will probably be back around, so block him, tell your friends and family to block him, and do your best to move on. Mine tried to come back after a year of no contact, one of the most painful years of my life. When he did, I could finally see him for what he was and wondered what I ever saw in him.
You will eventually look back and be grateful he's out of your life. I promise.
Sending you a hug.