Originally Posted by picturebigger

sorry.. i know this has been asked many times, trust me i searched first and read most, posting anyway b/c after reading i'm still undecided and maybe need opinions directed at me.

how detrimental is it really? my boss seems pretty cool. i feel he definitely deserves an answer to my lack of performance. i'm an honest person, i'm at the point now i think it's almost disrespectful to NOT tell him. but like all the other posts, i'm battling with how necessary that is if "i can quietly fix it myself".

90 day outpatient, he knows i'm in "medical treatment" for a "health problem" and he's given me lots of space for it. but my performance is terrible compared to what it was and should be. absolutely everyone in my personal life says don't tell him, my company's HR department said it's legally none of his business, but here i am embarrassed about my behavior and lack of performance, how bad is it if i just tell him straight up?

i asked my mom this last night. she had good advice.. saying your lack of performance now, once you fix your problem and some other day the project gets tough and you're only 95% capacity you'll always be scrutinized about whether this current problem has resurfaced. i agreed.

but after giving it some thought.. is that such a bad thing? my boss gives me 150% pile of work, would i not be motivated to crank it out for that fact alone? so he DOESN'T question whether that situation has reappeared and must be why i missed a mark? and at the expense of my career only advancing? part of me says let him always wonder about it, and then watch me deliver every time and always prove it wrong? that can't hurt. sure it's easier said than done, but he's a reasonable guy and he's by no means an id10t. he usually doesn't throw me more than i can handle, he knows limits and what's excessive, and sometimes when the going gets tough, i get tougher. it's how i worked to get to this Sr. level position. i don't want to lose my job, and i won't lose it. but day by day i keep becoming more interested in going against what absolutely everyone has told me-- DONT TELL HIM -- and just tell him. rather than patronize him like i feel like i'm doing now, about my outpatient being a "get healthy campaign". he's not stupid. he probably already suspects it.

am i answering my own question here? i'm just so torn. i see both sides. i'm dying to level up with him, he's probably eager for me to do it too, but i also see how it's not necessary to reveal it if it's going to be a thing of the past one day. problem is that one day isn't coming as fast as i hoped. i'm working on it, but it's front and center. my work is taking an impact, he knows i have "health problems" but me personally i'm almost hating that stigma more than just telling him hey man I'm working on an alcohol addiction. health problems sounds like i have Polio or Lupus or something. not that Alcoholism is any better... but at least maybe he can relate to that a little more.

what do you guys think? is it career suicide, or screw it just man up and tell the man what he may already suspect?

thanks in advance
-d