GF...thank you. It truly is sad...and today as my Therapist showed me, I can start my grieving for the man that I loved. I am also going to search for spirituality in myself. Interesting enough, I found the root of things...now what to do with it...when I was a child, my father was an alcoholic. My childhood memories of him do not focus on the drinking at all...I only remember all the good times that we shared and how close we were. My mother and I left him at one point with the ultimatimum...and it worked...we were gone for a few days living out of a hotel and he said to come home he would quit...and for the rest of his life until he passed away when I was 17 he never drank again...my mother had stayed with him through thick and thin and he was willing to quit drinking out of his love for the both of us. I guess I was living the circle...and hoping for the same results. I just wasn't as lucky it appears.
My therapist recommended a book for me to read called A Return to Love...by Marianne Williamson...based on the Course in Miracles. Anyone familiar with it?
I just picked it up at the library along with a couple of Beattie books on codependency.