I think Hamster Wheel is the wrong thought to have in my mind as it implies I can get off when I want. Sure I keep stopping for a few days, a week or so here and there, after about 25 years of drinking, I need to realize I'm in one of those hamster balls, I can make it stop for a while but I can't get out and it just takes one little nudge to get it rolling again.
It's not like I can 'just stop' for a few days, it's painful and scary and dangerous. There are no more hangovers, hasn't been for years, it's just withdrawal every time.
I've reached out about changing my user name, I really liked that suggestion.