Wow. You said so much but all that leapt out at me was unadulterated RAGE.
I am so sorry for your pain. No one deserves what you have been through- your last word is what we all deserve, "peace." Your post really touched something in me- maybe related to my parents marriage (my alcoholic, bipolar mom) and their recovery, my own recovery, I dont know and that is for my future reflection- and my heart goes out to you.