I absolutely agree with your description of an active alcoholic. I would never recommend anyone Marry or involve themselves in any way with someone who is alcoholic.
In my experience a true recovered alcoholic does not fit this description. My husband is the most honest person I know, sometimes too honest lol. He lives daily to make me happy, he serves our marriage and relationship with much effort.
He's the best person I know. I'm sorry for what you have endured.
The statement in your post "Do not feel sorry for your AH and marry him". I think so many people do, they think if they don't that their partner will delve deeper into alcoholism. They think they will change. They think it can't get worse. Guilt causes us all to make very poor decisions at times. Marriage is one of the most serious commitments we will ever make - it shouldn't be done out of guilt, and certainly not with an active alcoholic or addict. Thank you for pointing that out.