here's how it looks to me:
He said he had reached a point in his sobriety where he wanted to know what is was that he thought he missed about drinking so much.
he thought he missed something about drinking so much.
so then he drank.
and now, wow, he doesn't miss anything about drinking.
if that were me, i'd ask myself what, then, is it that i missed so much? if it's not drinking, then what i was feeling i was missing is still missing.
if i was indeed missing drinking, then it would make sense that having a drink would quench that missing.
which would lead me to believe...anyway, doesn't matter what i believe.
hm...being a few months away from 10 years myself, i wonder what he's done all these years to address this feeling of missing something? sounds like torture if you spend ten years missing drinking....