Originally Posted by
Forourgirls 
^ because you are as addicted to him as he is to alcohol. Btdt. Please get some support for yourself and your kids-what they are living in is abuse....and it's not ok. Please summon the strength to get out or set some firm boundaries-you gotta start standing up for yourself (and I know how hard that is after years of being beaten down and scared!). YOU are worth it, your kids are worth it.
How could I be addicted to him? He repulses me. Everything about him. I just want to get as far away from him as possible and I can't summon the strength to do it. I'm afraid of him. That's what it boils down to.