I wanted a family
Two and a half years ago I was a drug using, alcohol dependent woman with no direction. Today I'm as scared as I should have been then. And then I met a man who was as eager to do drugs and drink as much as I was.
I went through detox . I went through a program. I got help.
Today I'm the mother of a beautiful and amazing 13 month old. Today I'm also the spouse of a drug using, probably drug dependent man.
I'm scared because I don't want my son to grow up in this kind of household. I'm scared because I saw a text on my man's phone from someone threatening him. I'm scared cuz I I entered this "stay at home mom" gig w savings to go back to school...it's either gone to cover bills or been stolen to buy drugs. I'm scared cuz it's a cycle that my son and I are caught in even though we aren't the ones doing the drugs. I'm scared that it's never going to stop.
I know there are people out there in a similar position. I honestly just want to hear someone say that they know what I'm dealing with (all the lies and defensive behavior, etc). What do you do to hold it together and to keep hope that someday things will change?