What I'm going to do differently this time is actually do/ use the tools I have, rather than just think about them. Posting here. Rereading the books on quitting/ recovery. Seeing my psychologist. Exercise. Meditation. Journaling. Gratitude diary. Staying in the present moment and being ok with not always feeling ok. Basically, it's just time for me to grow up and accept finally that drinking is never a good choice for me.