Hi Para, I can definitely relate. I was a chronic relapser, just on and on and on and on for years. I finally went to rehab and it got me on track. I really wish I had accepted my problem was "that bad" and gone sooner. I did try other things first and was able to stay clean for some periods of time, but nothing has changed my life and thinking and turned off that feeling of being on auto-piglet like going to rehab.
If you really can't stick to a plan then it would be a good option for you. In rehab you have no way of getting your hands on alcohol- you have to get clean and then you learn the tools to stay clean.
Wishing you the very best. We are all here for you.