When I lay by another girl...
When I lay by another girl who I dont love and is just here to keep me company, even when I lay on my back, and she lays on my side with her head on my chest and leg over mine which is my favorite position to lay with another girl, I did not feel the feelings I used to feel when my ex laid in that same position with me, it felt empty and for some reason, a deep sense of sadness ran through my body like a rush from nowhere.
It felt as if a spirit of memories flew right through me flashing memories through my soul and then it left back out... putting me in a state of remembering....
I always thought it was just the position of how a girl lays on me that made my chest feel that sense of warmth, but I guess it was really that in combination with love that did it. I dont know, but just know I'm much more self aware and trying to find myself in this whole process has been an amazing learning experience...
I have been doing really well, but I still think of her everyday, and once in a long while I really really miss her. Moving forward is not a questoin anymore, I've already left, but still... sometimes I wish she could be here again to lay her head down on me.
I know I said I wouldnt find any girls for now, but its kind of hard... just wanted to share, wonder if others ever had such experience post breaking up with ex-a, or just a rant.