tomorrow STBXAH finds out I filed
a motion for sole custody of our 3 children, unless he agrees to continued sobriety monitoring. And I'm so scared.
The 4-mos. of sobriety monitory he agreed to ends in a month. Amazingly, he seems to have done fine, blowing sober 3 times/day on alternate weeks when he has our kids. However, he drinks heavily when he's not being monitored, apparently starting as soon as his custody period ends. I know because once I saw him; another time he got mugged while "extremely intoxicated" according to the police report; and last weekend he was an hour and a half late and deathly-looking hungover when he showed up far an appointment with me.
We had been trying to mediate our divorce, but filing this motion probably tanks that endeavor. However, I need to make sure our kids are safe when they are with him, and he refused to extend the monitoring "torture."
Anyway, I'm just looking for support and positive vibes sent my way. It's been interesting realizing how worried I am about his reaction, and what that says about how long I have let him control and manipulate me. He doesn't like not getting his way, so a long time ago I started giving in to him. Not this time, but I'm scared.