Expanding, you've made some great progress...
I've been in that same place. I can't even count the mornings I'd look forward to our morning dog walk, thinking how nice it would be to spend some time together in the early AM quiet, take in the beautiful sunrise and see what's blooming in people's yards, then go home and have a cup of coffee together.
REALITY: We'd start walking, and within 5 minutes, XAH would be complaining I was walking too fast/too slow, weather was too hot/too cold, complaining that I didn't have the dogs under what he deemed sufficient control, and paying no attention to anything I said or anything I pointed out. At the best, I'd end the walk feeling some combination of sad/angry/frustrated. At the worst, he'd get angry enough to turn around and storm off home. Several months ago, he revealed that he'd pick these fights on purpose b/c then he could go home and smoke cigarettes (which is something he also hid from me).
Insanity. On both of our parts, I'd say.
I get where you're coming from, Expanding. And I think it's interesting how you were able to turn it around--it does feel different that way. Thanks for that insight.