I'm concerned and sad about the what this is teaching your kids, especially your stepson. I grew up in a home with addiction. It takes a terrible toll anyway, but when you start involving the children in the lies and secrecy, it's all the more damaging.
You alone have the power to change this situation and protect your children. I understand all too well the fear that's keeping you stuck, I had a lot of it myself. It turned out the the fears in my imagination were far worse than the reality ended up being.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ic-family.html