Hi Suzy,
I'm new here too. Only yesterday, I wrote a post about how functional I was and yet couldn't avoid drinking as soon as I finished work. Someone helped me see that one of the things that was making me unhappy was the distance between my supposed 'healthy' life and my 'drinking' life. And that gap was only going to get bigger.
Reading and contributing to posts is increasing my understanding of the problem I'm tackling. Try doing the same and you'll see you're far from alone.
Good luck. Everyone cares about you here.