It is very scary how we rationalise and I am doing it myself still. I guess a small breakthru came when I told my doctor and she gave me a referral to go to the hospital to see how they can help me. Of course that was a few weeks ago but I am going this monday to see what they can do
but yes it is easy to rationalise to say it's ok etc, but I don't think for me that is helping me. I too have memory lapses
For me I lose all sense of reasoning when I drink too much, I don't know how I get home (although I never ever drive) but I thought this morning, how did I get home on Saturday? What if someone attacked me, what if i walked out in front of a car...
Too many what ifs...