Originally Posted by
Ann 
I am glad you found us and hope you will take a good read around, especially the sticky threads at the top of this forum, you will see what your life may become if you stay with a man who is addicted to drugs.
Trust your instincts. What you feel is a very bad relationship because of the drugs, is. When you feel that your life will not unfold with the "happy ever after" you had dreamed of, it will, as long as he is actively addicted to drugs.
Sadly, what an active addict says and what they do are often two different actions. Their intentions may be good, they may sound sincere, but in the end the drugs will win every time unless and until they find a better path and nothing you say or do will lead him there, only he can do that and it doesn't sound like he's ready. If our love could save an addict, not one of us would be here.
If you were my daughter I would suggest stepping back for a while and catching your breath and finding your balance. I wouldn't make wedding plans or any future plans until you see what his actions tell you...over a long period of time.
Stick around, read here for a while and let us know how this unfolds...we understand and we care.
Hugs
thank you so much for your kind words. This is my first experience with an addict and it's been absolute bliss with him aside for this relapse incident. I do believe that he is genuine in that fact that he is sorry. It was his first experience with vyvanne and he said he absolutely hated the way it made him feel. My concern isn't that he will do the vyvanne again, it's what he will do next. For the past few days he has been attending meeting and talking with our pastor daily. I do so love him, but I am forced to put up a wall. Trust is already a major issue with me and I cannot allow anyone to control my destiny. All I can do is pray. He has over a year clean from heroin and although he didn't use for very long (maybe 2 months) I am sceptical of the outcome of all this. Maybe one day the wall will comedown a bit, but I fear that I must always keep one up due to him being an addict for the rest of his life.