Glitterdiva...i feel u on that seriously. Here you are stuck paying HIS car bill feeling taken advantage of and resentful and a couple glasses of red wine later...the anger festers and you want to take it out on him! (And rightfully so might I add.) But afterwards we come up empty handed...bc there's no satisfaction to be had!
I'm starting to realize that no contact is really for us and our own sanity. Because their chaotic lives they live with their DOC gives them an "outlet" to be complete selfish and egocentric manipulators. Do we really think our addicts stay up late thinking of all the hell that befell on us due to their f ups?! Nope! Like u said we need to just stop. Stop and stop. 45 days for urs and 7 for mine...but how about us? Ive never used drugs so lets see Im 30 ×365 = 10,950 Days clean?! Wheres my AA chip for that?! LMAO. Point is.. what do u want a cookie for not injecting crack and heroin today? Him sending u his badge from his job?! Do we get a pat on the back for working consistently for years? Its just so childish. I feel like addicts are like blown up children. We pay for them. They want rewards for doing the right thing?!! "Look mommy no hands!" Grrrr its so angering! So i understand exactly what u mean.
As u said uve been down this road. Only years of sobriety will prove anything to us and by then we realize that they are not what we want. Our emotions cloud us. Addiction creates selfish partners. Sobriety only encourages selfish behavior to focus solely on them etc. Anyway...u are in my thoughts today. We can do this!! We are the ones who are strong. We are the ones who know in our hearts that we deserve a hell of a lot better then this! So as u said...lets reboot the computer system. Detox our addicts from our psyche and thank god that it was only a slip up. Aint no thang but a chicken wing!! Hahaha. HUGS. XOXO.