Originally Posted by Dreamcatcher44

Glitterdiva ur 6 years has made u wise to the game. Reading ur experience of ur soon to be X AH coming home from Florida and all the same lines being used was both reassuring and sad at the same time. As u said we want to believe but we know better. I can only imagine how hard that must have been having children with all the chaos that addiction brings with it. Im proud of u for doing whats best for u and ur girls (and dog) Ironically I live in Florida.. smack in the center where all the treatment centers are. Its a hotbed of drugs down here and people leaving detox only have to walk 10 feet to find their next hit. Not a good enviroment for sobriety at all. They have to really really want it bc its literally everywhere u turn. (Since dating my addict ive unfortunaly learned crash course in scoring drugs. For us non addicts u just never pay attention to such things before but once u do u notice it everywhere)

My XABF has a sponser and is carrying around his blue book. He def has the best intentions but as u said 6 days (today) hes not even done withdrawing yet. Ive been on this merry go round. In and out of countless rehab this past year only to have him using the moment hes out. The only difference in all this time he never went to meetings everyday and actually started working a program. (Mind u 6 days) Do i want to believe it..of course. But realistically speaking its unlikely.

Hes done 2-3 year stints sober followed by relapse. So hes capable. They all are really. Long term sobriety is the real issue. I was reading statistics and it said if less then one year 75% chance of relapse. If over a year 50%. Its when u get to five years clean it drops to 15%. These odds are brutal. But back to the point at hand seeing him clean is like a miracle. Id liken to someone with dementia suddenly remembering who they are. He is here right now but his disease has a 75% chance of sucking him back because thats what it does. And as pathetic as this sounds being around him for this short time of him being clean...seeing him ..hearing him..it fills my heart with so much joy. And ur right its all probably just a pipe dream. And while realistically i know he is going to be gone soon (or who knows...maybe clean for a bit of time) it makes me want to absorb as much of him as i can before hes gone. Now where this is bad for me is obvious. My life in standstill waiting for the ensuing relapse. Thats no way to live and as u said when u go through it enough u know u need to cut off all ties for ur own sanity. I think a year of no communication is best but these past couple days its been bitter sweet seeing him clean. Thanks for ur feedback. I really appreciate it.