Aiko:
Do you think it would help now to seek the companionship of other persons in recovery, persons who don't drink or take drugs. That certainly was the thing that helped me. Trying to go "mano a mano" with a doctor or counselor went on for thirty years and I kept having relapses. If you have qualms about AA or NA then could your doctor recommend some kind of group therapy. It's hard to climb a mountain with only one person on the other end of the rope, particularly if there is some hostility going on. This is just a suggestion. The choice is always yours. Good luck.
Bill.