Originally Posted by
Bekindalways 
When my qualifier got into meth I got out almost at once but I had seen it coming from a long way off as he came from a pretty messed up background. Because my involvement with an addict was short and my life never got really crazy, some of the codependency info doesn't ring true for me. However, I certainly have the codependent characteristics that made this man attractive to me. Like Alcoholicwife, I wouldn't have been interested in a heathy man.
I too don't have all the qualifiers for a codependent. In fact, it took me a while to come to the realization that I was one. Similar to the alcoholic stage of denial. "I have my own hobbies, pay my own bills, have a good career, make good income, come from parents who were non-alcoholics etc." but I really could not see my own sickness. At the core of it, I've lost a sense of self. I was always too preoccupied with what my spouse is doing and how to "fix" the dysfunctional relationship instead of fixing ME. The fact that I could think that if Spouse would quit drinking, drugging, gambling, XY and Z then that would equal a happy marriage which would equal a happy me. I failed to realize that I'm constantly trying to jam a square peg into a round hole! It ain't gunna happen and the fact that I thought it could was just insanity.