I wasn't at the point of blacking out, but, yeah, it wasn't about a rock bottom, or bad drunk, or SO ultimatum, or some slobbering embarrassment, for me. Just exhausted of it all (even each week for the day or two of not drinking, there was the worrying and thinking). Basically, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And while things hadn't gotten ugly they were, year-over-year, getting worse.