One of the hardest pills to swallow in dealing with my husband's relapse/alcoholism was admitting/accepting that I had problems too.
I remember when I joined here, and it was suggested that I go to Al Anon, I was offended. I DON"T HAVE A PROBLEM I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. I did, and do have issues with codependency and enabling, controlling, and can be manipulative. It sounds like your BF was aware enough that you had issues being an ACOA, hence the book. Its a chicken or the egg question, did you become worn out with his drinking, or did he become worn out with your issues - just because someone is alcoholic doesn't mean their issues in a relationship don't exist or are "trumped" by their alcoholism.
Its seldom if ever that all the problems in a relationship can be pinned on one member - I am sure of that here as well. If you were at fault for everything that speaks loud and clear as to your Ex's drinking mentality, and I am leaning toward him not wanting to quit drinking most likely to be the reason why your relationship ended. As long as it was YOUR fault and YOU weren't doing anything about your issues guess what? He didn't have to do anything about his own. To compound it your interests in life changed.......at 8 years in I would imagine you were ready possibly to start a family and move on to another level in your relationship. Was he? I don't think so at all. He sounds like a college frat boy partying, surrounding himself with like minded friends. You sound like you were no longer interested in that lifestyle never mind that he is alcoholic.
Understand that this situation is common in relationships that don't involve addiction or alcoholism. You matured, he did not. You want to grow, he wants to stay the same. You want to work on your personal issues, he wants to continue to do what he's doing without working on his. It doesn't have anything to do with whether he loved you or your relationship was real. It was. Its not that he jumped ship - YOU jumped ship in deciding that status quo wasn't working for you anymore.
All a matter of perspective. Congrats on your journey!