Overthinking it all is something I excel at, I totally understand!
It's a very difficult habit to break - I wasn't seeing how often I was acting on assumptions & mind reading. After RAH got sober & we've been able to talk about all of this, I was truly amazed to discover how much more mental work I was always doing..... in reality he didn't put a fraction of the thought & purposeful manipulation into his actions as I was giving him credit for. More often than not, the "reasons" were almost too simple.
That said - I'm not dealing with a narcissist. That changes things significantly IMO. You are absolutely right - you'll get better clarity with more distance/space once you are no longer sharing living space. Do you have a date for him leaving?
Thanks for the book recommendation - you might also get a lot out of "Perfect Daughters" by Robert Ackerman - it was written specifically about daughters of alcoholics & how we are affected differently depending on whether our qualifier was mom or dad & whether the addiction developed over our lifetimes or existing prior to our births. It really hit home for me in a big way.
Keep posting, Expanding - you're doing a great job talking this all through!
