This stuff really does spin your head around in the early days. Give yourself some time to digest it all and just observe without judging every moment, including the past. ((((Hugs))))
Originally Posted by
Expanding 
Why, when we had a practical manual for how to move forward, did he jump ship?
Ouch. Is it really fair to expect a book to be the reason that he stays, or to expect it to act as a "manual" on how to be in a relationship with someone?
In reality, he's still actively drinking & doesn't see any issues with it, right? The opinion about rewiring your brain sounds like him shifting the blame for everything to you. It's far easier that way, far more acceptable to him if you are the one with allllll the damage, isn't it? It is, quite literally, the easy way out. Nothing more than that - it makes it so that he can walk away without addressing his issues at all.
I also agree with the others - you getting healthier would be a complete threat to his drinking/way of life.... it really can be THAT simple.
ETA - I haven't read this particular book, but I'm an ACoA as well. Is it this one, by Douglas & Deborah Bey?
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Adult-C.../dp/1590771176