Arpeggioh

Well--
Tonight when I lay me down to sleep, I'll be celebrating a full week without alcohol...first one in several months.

Today I had to have a very stern discussion with my AV and my Beast (I didn't like that idea of a genuine "entity" when I first read Trimpey's stuff; sounded a little fantastical for my taste; today I totally identified with the concept! Such a mean and ugly SOB!) IT was saying, "Ya know, it's Sunday, and you have nothing to do all afternoon; you could drink a whole fifth of vodka, and no one would even know...wink wink, nudge nudge."

I honestly had to address IT in a full conversation within my own head (feeling a bit crazy doing it, but it seemed important!) "You know, Beastie Boy--you're not ME, you're IT, you're evil and nasty and want me to fail and die! And I'm calling the shots from now on, see? So p*ss off!)

I'm slow to feel comfortable with that kind of internal dialogue, since it seems a little schizophrenic ... but this time I'm up for a fight! And today, I won. I love reading threads in places like 'Alcoholism' and 'Newcomers to Sobriety', and get lots of inspiration from many posts there...but I feel a bit better understood over on this end of SR, and I hope earthsteps doesn't mind me hijacking this thread for my own daily posting; I feel more comfortable here.

Happy Sober Sunday,
Arp