Welcome. I come from a line of substance abusers and although at many times it wasnt terrible, the emotional neglect messes you up. My situation is not comparable but I had sort of a breakdown myself about four years ago. I started some really detrimental behaviors, and I had always been a really straight laced, **** together person. I'm attributing this to buried trauma and my own mild mental illness that just never emerged due to many factors. I'd really recommend meetings to your husband because it seems like he may be ready to deal with this stuff. You may benefit from them too because alcoholic behaviors are passed on even after drinking stops. Good luck!