Welcome to SR, Lady Grace!
You are indeed in a good spot! Have you looked into ACOA Al Anon meetings? You may find a group with that focus a true lifeline. Being in a larger area you might find a meeting with ACOA focus easier. CODA meetings might be helpful for you too. Are you seeing a counselor? I found seeing someone very useful. The situation was too overwhelming for my friends to fully support me or help me sway from ranting to defending my H in a 15 minute conversation.
I too wanted a reckoning and accountability in my marriage. I did not get it the way I wanted it. My H cannot speak about emotions or the fall out of his addiction and how it hurt his family. He has been sober 3 years. He is ACOA with trauma. I dont think I will ever know all of the trauma. He shows his commitment in deeds. He no longer works a high powered job. The change in budget and me becoming the primary earner has been a source of resentment at times. We still earn plenty of money, but we now need a budget and our travel is curtailed right when we have the freedom to head out.
Just this week he was reviewing a job listing and mentioned it was 50% travel. I think that means it's not a contender. I don't know what happened in the past when he traveled for work. I assume he got seriously drunk. But he could have slept around. I really don't know.
You might think I'm nuts to see all the holes in knowledge I'm admitting to in this post. The reason I can live each day is I worked the 12 steps for myself. It helped me let go of a lot of expectations of my marriage. My role with my H at this moment is not to save him. I just walk alongside him. He is damaged, and it's not my role to fix him.
Leaving is probably easier. You can fold yourself up in anger and make a clean break. But you already know damaged men is your preference. Me too. I knew I'd just pick up another one!