To come back to what to do in the moment to avoid feelings of deprivation... It is 100% about choice. The important thing in the moment is to remember what you're choosing between. For me, I'm choosing between having a good night with my friends (although I might get bored and leave earlier than some people depending on the conversation and how drunk people get)... or spending the rest of my night obsessively drinking as much as I can, probably hitting a liquor store on the way home, probably doing the same thing again tomorrow, probably not being sober again for a long time. In the moment it can feel like "get buzzed and have a silly night with my friends with no consequences" is one of the choices. But it's not. Once I reality check myself, I don't feel like I'm getting the bad end of the deal.
At the heart of this though is that I did have to grieve for that thing I'd lost. I'm probably still grieving it, although I feel it less now. I'm sad that I can't get the kind of good, no-consequences, socially acceptable drunk that I used to be able to. But I've come to terms that it's gone and there's nothing I can do to change that. My body doesn't work that way anymore. Just like calling my ex-boyfriend won't fix that messed up relationship into what I wanted it to be, putting alcohol into my body isn't going to make me that kind of drunk ever again. Sometimes things end and we have to move on. The choice happens within that framework.