So...I'm back....
I'm in month 3 of NC with my ex...
Things have been going really well. I like my new job (where he's not), and I'm grateful to be out of the horrific environment of my former job. Lots of good things going on in my actual career as well, which has been...well, good.
And then two weeks ago, I finished my shift and came upstairs to about 15 text messages from my former coworkers.
Apparently, my AXBF went out drinking (and other things, given the people he was with--he's a heroin addict) on a Thursday evening and failed to show up for his lunch shift on Friday. He was subsequently fired. (I'll also note that this happened pretty shortly after the one year anniversary of his release from rehab). No one has heard from him since.
But this is not about him.
Turthfully,
I'm struggling a little bit. He's been on my mind more in the past two weeks than in the past two months.
I'm worried about him.
I unblocked his phone number for 24 hours in the event that he might reach out (he didn't). (And I reblocked it because, well, that may not be a good idea)
And I'm struggling with not reaching out to him and asking if he wants to talk.
I cannot imagine the unbelievable shame he's feeling. (But there I go again, worrying about his feelings instead of my own).
Can someone please help me with the humanity of all this? I've worked so hard and so very much do not want to head back down the rabbit hole of thinking about him and worrying about him/where he is/if he's safe. What do you all do?