I'm sorry you feel alone sleepie and that there's no-one in real life to turn to. If your bf isn't the sort who can give the reassurance you seek, then he simply isn't and it can't be changed. It is up to you again, sleepie, to find the strength within yourself. You have come this far on your own inner strength. To complete these tests you need to call on that strength again. You really can do it, sleepie.