This really upsets me. And it makes me feel like just how it used to be when I was up til dawn drinking, I didn't often do that but when I did it was no good. It makes me feel the same way- punchy and birds chirping and slightly surreal. I don't want to think about those times and this make me feel no different. I just don't get it. I went through all that with quitting everything and life is just not one shred better. Things are actually worse. All the anxiety, the insomnia, and the tics. I seriously do not understand. And it's not like I quit yesterday. I am not just complaining, it's that I am actually getting scared.
Please do not suggest a doctor. I have been over 10 times to doctors of various sorts, in this last year. It's part of why I feel like such a basket case now all the time.