I didn't say anyone was asking me outright, Dee. What I am saying is- it is not seen as appropriate for me or other survivors to say much in the face of these kinds of holidays or occasions. Now anyone else can say they lost a parent and even if it was 30 years in the past, nobody will tell them to get over it or that it was a long time ago. But the losses suffered by survivors are often treated in that manner. And in this way, we are encouraged to keep our mouths shut, out there in the world. And we are also judged as I mentioned previously- "If it wasn't for your parents you wouldn't be here"... or "You only have one set of parents" and even once in my case "You should make amends".
The horror of that one... I quit speaking to that person. Amends to your abusers.....? That one really had my head spinning. All of that kind of thing is just perpetuating abuse on someone who has already suffered.