you LOVED sitting on the porch having a drink and a smoke
now, it's almost like you know what the situation really is, so you don't love it anymore, in fact, it just makes you miserable
keep this experience in your mind... you DON'T love sitting on the porch and having a drink and a smoke. In fact, it ruined your weekend
this could be the summer where you learn all kinds of new things about yourself, and it won't be easy, but it might end up being the best summer you have had in a very long time
so, you dropped the ball- pick it up and move it forward. You don't have to leave it where it is.