SugarA: It sounds like you could use a good retreat. I really do think you are on the right mind path in being aware that you are trying to be too many things to too many people all at once and feeling like you end up coming up short for yourself and what is truly BEST for YOU. I'm not saying ditch people and just stick to yourself, but people *will*suck*you*dry* if given half a chance; even the people we love the most and who we know love us the most. I'm a work in progress for sure, because I find myself feeling like I need to cheer others up as well as prop them up at the same time...and find myself feeling like, "Whew, why am I feeling sort of drained right now?"
Well, it is usually because I gave something of myself...not just 'regular' energy...but something MORE that I cannot find a word for...but I gave a "piece" of myself...and then I feel there are times when I just need to recover in a healthy way instead of looking for the short answer in a substance to "pick me up". Does that make sense?
I over-think because it's partly the way I'm wired, but also because I've been in too many situations in which I had to think of various possible outcomes as part of the "nature of the beast". Don't know how to change the "beast" or if I should even attempt to do so (probably not)...so I am left with changing mySELF, which easier said than done too....
Maybe tomorrow you will take a retreat day to your kitchen and reconnect with food in a positive healthy way...you have to eat!! Part of any good recovery plan is eating a healthy diet.